Dreaming Wide Awake
by Sagi-chan
Summary: Fantasies for Gaara don't exist and can't happen – but maybe with Naruto around, they can. [fluff] [one-shot] [GaaraNaru] [challange response]


**Default Disclaimer:** _I do not own_ [**insert anime/book**]. _And I never will_. [**end disclaimer**]  
**Kuroi-chan's Disclaimer:** _The nickname_ **'Sagi-chan** _is copyrighted to _**Kuroi**_. Any other who uses it will be mocked, laughed at, and will ultimately suffer at the hands of her vengeful and depressing wrath. That, and she'll nag me into yelling at you._  
**Saaski-chan's Disclaimer:** _The nickname_ **Leeni** _has been copyrighted to_ **Saaski**. _Use it and die.  
  
  
  
  
_**AN:**_ This fic was a response to a challenge issued in the GaaNaru community at LiveJournal. The requirements were that it had to be at least_ **a thousand words** _[or two pages] of_ **Good English**_, feature the_ **Gaara/Naruto** _pairing, [_and for me_] Have the line: _**So why didn't I die"**_ in it. I'm proud to say that I've filled all of those requirements. I'm annoyed to say that I think I confused the hell out of myself while writing it. It's odd. It's slightly AU-ish and I'm sure that you'll be confused. So… sorry about that.  
  
  
  
_**Length:**_ 1293 words  
_**Summary:**_ Fantasies for Gaara don't exist and can't happen – but maybe with Naruto around, they can."  
_**Pairing:**_ Gaara/Naruto  
_**Genre:**_ General fluff  
  
  


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**Dreaming Wide Awake  
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**_It was almost a rarity for Gaara of the Desert to dream. He didn't sleep, so therefore he couldn't dream. The precious rest he did attain was through meditating. He kept his imagination in check during that time as much as he could. But on some nights, he would look up at the moon and just let his thoughts drift.

This was one of those nights. It wasn't a full moon, only a sliver of the moon was reflecting its dim glow towards the Earth. The sky wasn't dotted with stars that twinkled down to help light the nighttime world, but clouded and dimmed. It wasn't a classic warm summer night either. In his home, the nights are cold and windy and harsh. The night isn't the time or place for letting one's thoughts drift.

Gaara knew this. He was well aware of the dangers of the night. By the time he turned twelve, he knew the terrors of the night much better than any adult. At twelve, _he_ was a terror of the night. And besides, he had never been one to worry over stupid things like being mugged or threatened.

And... it was nice to let his mind relax and allow himself to wander through his thoughts from time to time. Usually, when his mind wandered, he thought of his childhood. He thought of all the things that had happened – all of the things that had created the cold-hearted person named Gaara that he had become. At those times, he would insert an event that would change everything. He had gone through every scenario there was. Every thing from making a friend to not being betrayed to not having that thing inside of him. At times, he thought that even a passing smile from a stranger would have made that much of a difference.

Tonight, however, Gaara wasn't thinking about his tormented past. He wasn't imagining how to change a life that was filled with pain and loneliness.

It was because; Gaara had found somebody just like him. Somebody else who had lived a life of betrayal and loneliness, and hurt. Gaara was thinking about one, Uzamaki Naruto. He was staring up at the imperfect moon, thinking about a boy who radiated the light and energy of the sun.

It was almost enough to make him smile.

At that moment, the only thing in Gaara's mind was Naruto. The Naruto that wasn't afraid of what he was. The Naruto who had the courage to yell at him to his face about stupid things like ramen. Naruto, who was the closet thing that Gaara had to a Precious Person.

"Uzamaki Naruto... ka?" Gaara said, as though he were offering the name up to the moon. He pondered over those few syllables, remembering all the times he had heard that name shouted from those lips. Remembering what those words had come to mean to him. This time, he really did smile.

A new scenario began to play out in his mind. It started right after Naruto had beaten his ultimate transformation. After Gaara had let Shukaku out in an act of desperation... and the blond had still beaten him. And the boy had managed to beat some sense into him at the same time. Yet, this time, in Gaara's mind, he didn't allow Kankuro and Temerai to drag him away. They had already fled, and he stayed with Naruto. Grew close to Naruto.

Gaara's cheeks pinked slightly as a new idea came upon him.

Just how close would he and Naruto become? Would they be friends, or something more? Something better, something closer then mere friends could be. How long would he be allowed to stay in the Fire Country with Naruto? Not long, surely. They would have to move on, build a new home for themselves.

But the idea of it – of living with Naruto to in Konoha, and just being with Naruto – the idea had to be too good to be true. And it was. It was just a fantasy, after all. Just a dream.

Gaara shook his head, clearing away those thoughts. As always, his fantasies were shattered by reality. His overly practical mind was pointing out the flaws and how those scenarios wouldn't work. People would always know to fear a Demon Carrier. There was a certain air about himself that gave people shivers. There was a look in his eyes that caused people to turn away and sweat in fear.

A pair of arms suddenly snuck around Gaara's body, startling him away from his thoughts. A glimpse of sunshine colored hair entered his vision, the color slightly dimmed in the moonlight.

"You're cold." The new comer said, revealing himself to be male. "Have you been out here all night?"

"Aa..."

"What were you thinking about?" The bright haired male moved slightly, so that he now sat next to Gaara, rather than stood behind him. Naruto blinked his incredibly blue eyes at him in a curious manner.

Gaara shrugged before reaching up with one hand to trace the hitai-ate that Naruto wore around his neck. It looked slightly out of place, the red head mused. No longer did Naruto display the symbol of his village where everyone could see it. Because, instead of Naruto's former leaf hitai-ate, he now bore the symbol for Iwa no Kuni, the Hidden Village of the Rock. In the same way, Gaara's sand symbol had been traded for one to match, though he still wore it on his gourd.

Naruto smiled, reaching up one hand to catch Gaara's. "I thought you were going to kill me when you suddenly appeared in Konoha, you know." He said, musing over the two year old memory of Gaara's return for him. "So... why didn't I die?"

Gaara snorted. "You did. At the same moment that I did." The former sand-nin pressed their foreheads together and twin pools of blue stared into green. "That's the only reason why we're here."

Naruto flashed him a foxy grin. "I remember now... we both died in that battle. What a great way to go." The blond tilted his chin up slightly, taking his unsleeping companion by surprise and pressing their mouths together. And, though he was surprised, said insomniac responded without any hesitations.

That was their life now. Gaara had returned to the Leaf Village and had promised Naruto a better life. They had faked a battle in which they both "died" before they had fled to a new village. Gaara's fantasy, the one he had first fantasized almost three years ago, had mostly come true. The two boys were still feared, but they knew how to deal with it. They were feared, but they weren't hated. They were in a neutral country; they didn't have to fight most days. And their Jounin level missions gave them enough money to live comfortably.

But at this moment, they weren't a couple of supposedly dead Jounin's. They weren't a pair of Demon Carriers, scorned and feared from birth. They were just a couple of men, enjoying each others company, on a crisp night.

Gaara nearly smiled, and that near smile almost reached his eyes. If it had, the haunted and slightly deranged look that had found a home there would have vanished, if only for a moment, into a genuine happy light. That was what happened when Naruto had beaten him all those years ago. Naruto had saved him from his world of insanity – and he in turn had saved Naruto from a village of people who hated him. And they had both found somebody to love – at the same time.

"Ne, Gaara," Naruto said, staring up at the sky. "It's cold, why don't we go back inside?"

_"Aa..."  
  
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**Owari  
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_AN:****_so... was that not one of the most confusing things you've ever read? It's one of the most confusing that I've written... so, just let me know what you think, ne?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
That was a nice way of saying:_ "review or else" _if you didn't notice.  
  
  
_**.


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